A VOID's Logbook
by worthlessvalor
Summary: "My name is ex-016. I've been staying in this big white building for as long as I can remember. What is this place anyway? I overheard one of them once shouting about nuthouse or something."     A story about ZILCH and his journey until he become an UTAU.
1. Boredom

**ENTRY 1**

_My name is ex-016. It is written in red on my left shoulder._

_I've been __staying in this big white building for as long as I can remember._

_I don't like the __striking bright walls so I make room dark._

…_._

_What else should I write? Oh, I got this logbook from big brother._

_He said that I should write something on it and put the date._

…_._

_What is date? Is it those number on the thing called calendar?_

_But there's none here so I wouldn't put the date._

…_._

_I'm a Void. I just arrived in the physical plane and had to find a master for me to learn human's emotions._

…_._

_I told that to the white coated man once._

_Later I__ was locked in an empty white room. I hate that room so much! _

_When I told the story to big brother, he told me to just start learning the emotions I need here in this place. This logbook would also help me to find them he said._

…_._

_What is this place anyway? I overheard one of the new occupants once shouting about nuthouse or something._

…_._

_They gotta be wrong. There's not even a single nut here. Maybe they find the wrong place so—_

**RIIIIIING! **

A bell sounded throughout the whole building the little void called home. He sighed and put his logbook under his pillow, walking out of his room. It's time to attend the yard. The young void had his reasons to like and also dislike that time of the day.

He liked it because he could see the other resident of his so-called home. There was the boy who kept jumping around and stomping the flowerbed with an insane laugh, or the old man trying to call on the lightning storm, or maybe the little girl who think that her doll could talk to her. Observing their strange-yet-amusing behaviors from the distance pleased the young void quite well.

He disliked the moment because he didn't like crowd. It got noisy sometimes, especially when the flower boy start tackling the hyperactive one for hurting his 'siblings'. The white coated men would come a few times later though, taking the two boys with them. Sometimes the girl with a doll came and asked him to play but he didn't respond to her until she left. That happened rarely, or maybe once he didn't care, because most of the resident was busy with their own little world. And peeking to their little worlds was what the void busy with.

The bell would ring again in the noon for lunch. The young void would took his share and set off to the corner of the room near a window. He could then choose whether to watch the others chewing their portions off or setting his gaze out to the open window. The clouds were worth to watch as well he thought. The way they're changing gave out unlimited possibilities.

Another ring of the bell and they would be taken to the yard again and given a certain activity to be done. The children were given some papers and crayons to draw or books to read sometimes while the adults were taught a few important things the little void assumed. One time a marching band came to play for them, and another time a man came to show them a puppet show. The void didn't like that time of the day because he definitely had to make interactions with others.

The last ring of the bell would be like a sound of the savior for the cat-hybrid void. It's time for dinner and bed. He would finish his food fast and left for his room. He always kept his room dark so he didn't need to worry about the white coated men to find him still awake in bedtime. Taking his pen and logbook the void continued his writing again.

_Maybe they find the wrong place so they feel irritated? That should be it._

…_._

…_._

_And now I declared this big white building, my home, as Yggdrasil!_

_It's the name of a giant tree where various creatures live together in a storybook I read today. Isn't it such a cool name? _

_Oh, and it's actually carved at the front gate as well. I just reali__zed it because haven't been to the front gate before._

…_._

_Tomorrow would probably be the same day, eating breakfast in the yard, watching the others, eating lunch, watching the others, eating dinner, sleeping and so on._

…_._

_It's the whole same yet different thing everyday. Maybe it will always be? I don't know._

…_._

_It feels—_

The little void stopped, his furry cat ears prickling. Feelings. It's the same as emotions, true?

Suddenly his eyes widened as he took out the giant dictionary he stole from the library from below his bed. Flipping through pages, he found the right word and wiggled his tail. The new discovery seemed to move him as his eyes lighten up in the middle of the dark empty room. He took his pen in his hand again.

_It feels __**boring**__ sometimes. _

…_._

_Boring. Boredom. To __**feel **__bored. Uninteresting and tiresome; dull._

…_._

_I find my first emotions! _

_Maybe big brother is right? This logbook would really help on my search!_

…_._

_This is getting late and I can hear the white coated man steps outside my door._

_He seems to be getting…'suspicious' is it?_

_So this entry will end here._

_Conclusion: When everything__ seems dull and monotone, you'll feel __**bored**__._

**ENTRY 1 END**

* * *

><p>ZILCH is an UTAU I made. Here's link to his wiki .wiki/ZILCH

The story will take place from his early childhood until he become an UTAU and a few moment after.

I hope you enjoy the story!

And review please! XD


	2. Ignorant

**ENTRY ****2**

_This morning is cold and damp. _

_Drip, drip, drip._

_The constant dripping sound is definitely the sound of water drops falling from the roof to the ground._

_I don't need to open my window to look, I know it's raining outside._

_..._

_I bet the old man will be happy today. He will sit beside the window and whispe__r something unknown to the sky. Then he will cheer when the lightning finally strike. _

_..._

_I don't like it when it's raining. I don't mind the rain but not the situation I have to face in a rainy day like this._

_..._

_The bell will ring in a few moments. I can already hear the tapping sound of the white coated man's boots outside.__ So I will stop writing for now._

_..._

_..._

The little void exited his room right when the morning signal sounded throughout his home he called Yggdrasil. He could see the white-coated men leading the other occupants of the white colored building through the long corridor.

They usually attended the yard in the morning but in some special cases like today they would be led to a different place. The place the young void believed to be the place of his doom. The playing room, or in ex-016's version, the deepest hell of Tartarus.

The room was small, or quite small in his opinion, which meant there wouldn't be any safe corner for him to sit and observe. He couldn't watch their activities in peace without being disturbed at all!

What's worse was that in a day like this the white coated men would shuffle around the building to make sure that all of the occupants stayed in the room. Any stray ones would be taken to the white room, or taken back to the playing room if they had a quite good reason for being absent.

Sighing, the young void took a pencil, an eraser, and a few papers with him to the farthest corner he could find. He also took the small trash bin with him as the doggy boy was digging through the bigger ones to find something to chew on. Then, with all the materials set, the little void started to do his work. Another thing he liked to do besides watching the people and the clouds. He began to draw.

With a pencil on hand the young void stroked gracefully through the empty paper, turning it into a meaningful beauty, a small work of art. The way he did it one could know the talent he had. The picture would be reflecting the world around him in a subjective yet objective point of view. Sometimes it would show the sorrow of a bird living in a cage, unable to fly while gazing at the open sky. Another time it would reflect the other way around, how the bird lived happily in a peaceful asylum out of worries.

The moment the void drew he seemed to be losing track of time, which was the reason of why he was doing it. The more he forgot about his surrounding the better it was at that time. The hours would felt like minutes and before he knew it the lunch time would come. And as if in cue the bell rang.

The young void quickly gathered all of his drawing and crumbled it with his tiny hand. Dumping them now would be meaningless as one could still see his drawing if they open the crumpled paper. And if they saw it the white coated men would know. If the white coated men knew his talent they would try to improve it. And then their attention would be centered on him. They would also tell him what to draw, appraising him if he did well and scolding him if he did wrong. Oh no, he wouldn't let any of that happened! He would dispose of his drawings before any of them know they even existed.

And so the void opened his mouth and chewed on the crumpled paper which was once his work of art. He did it quickly and spat them back out to the trash bin he brought before. Then he would put a few other trashes from around the room over the now formless papers. After he's sure that nobody would find them he left following the group of children for lunch. At least, raining or not, lunch would always be the same.

The rain didn't stop even until the afternoon so ex-016 resumed on what he was doing in the morning. Making art and then disposed it. Once the other kids' rubber ball hit his head but he didn't waver at all. They didn't seem to notice him as well and took back their ball to play. They probably thought that he was one of the furniture because he didn't react at all. The room seemed to be separated into tiny little worlds of their own.

Dinner passed in an instant and the void quickly scrambled to his room with his little feet. He took out his logbook to continue today's entry. He also pulled out his huge dictionary in case he found a new emotion to add.

_..._

_..._

_Today turns out to be fine._

_I drew some more as well but successfully got rid of them. The white coated man won't find it._

_..._

_It was noisy and crowded as I thought but I survive through all of it._

_All I need is to__—_

Another emotion. The young void flipped through his dictionary quickly.

_All I need is to __**ignore**__ their babbling. They won't notice me that way._

_..._

_Ignore. Ignorance. The state or fact of being ignorant; unaware of something._

_..._

_My second emotion it is, huh? __I wonder what else I will find tomorrow._

_..._

_There the white coated man in front of my door, I guess.__ He seems to stop to listen on what I am doing now. Why must he be so suspicious of me?_

_I have to quickly end this entry then._

_Conclusion: When __you want to be unaware of something, you just need to __**ignore**__ it._

**ENTRY 2**** END **

* * *

><p>Wow, I'm so happy there's still people out there reading this story. Thank you so much!<p>

And if you don't mind, review please! XD


	3. Serenity

**ENTRY ****3**

_The sun shines brightly today. _

_I know because s__ome of its light escapes my thick curtains. It's so blinding!_

_..._

_I've close them tight for now. Why does light have to be like that?_

_I don't remember ever doing anything bad to it. _

_It doesn't have any reason to hurt my eyes, right? Right._

_..._

_Some__thing loud sounds outside._

_I believe it's a machine. No living creature makes that kind of sound. _

_..._

_Oh, it's that deafening screech I rarely heard! Which means my favorite day of the time being has come yet again! _

_You want to know why?_

_The whole Yggdrasil will be empty of the white coated men safe for the main gate._

_It's __gonna be the best—_

Being so absorbed in his own thought, ex-016 didn't realize that the bell had sounded loudly for quite a while. He dropped his pen and tossed his logbook down his bed, quickly scrambling out of his room. This day might be the day of his freedom but he still had to answer the morning signal on time. The white coated men always made sure that all of the occupants were present and in a controllable condition.

That day happened once in about thirty or so days the young void recalled. The white coated men would leave, carried by some strange four wheeled machines he remembered were called vehicle, and then returned in the evening with bunches of food, toiletries, and other necessary items. They're stocking supply, he knew.

In that rare day one of the occupant, the hysteric man ex-016 called, used to make a fruitless attempt to escape the building. Somehow he was always got caught, trashing and screaming bloody murders about the so called 'nuthouse' as he was dragged back inside the building, then gone for days, probably locked inside the white room. He didn't seem to do it again nowadays, but seeing the dangerous look he gave to the white coated man on the main gate the little cat-hybrid believed that he's still planning to. It was none of his business though, so he proceeded to reenter the huge white building after morning inspection.

Breakfast was put on the dining table according to their sitting position instead of brought to them while they're attending the yard as usual. Didn't matter, the occupants would take their share and ate. Right after breakfast they're free to do whatever they like. Most of them would once again return to their own little world, doing their daily routine. They didn't aware that a pair of brown eyes that used to watch over them was gone at that very day.

The young cat-hybrid void marched hastily with his little feet along the many corridors, yellow furred tail waggling behind him. His destination was cleared. There's nothing stopping him now that the white coated men were not present. The seemingly endless labyrinth finally reached a dead end and there stood a big double paneled door. They creaked loudly as the void opened them and entered without hesitation.

Inside, in the middle of the room, stood a huge wooden instrument the void thought was called piano. Many other instruments; wooden and brass, were arranged neatly around the room. The Hall of Bragi, the place of music and poetry, or so the young void called. He strolled across room and stopped in the corner, taking a small wooden instrument he always played in a day like that. Taking a deep breath, he stroked the strings with the bow on his right hand gracefully.

Once he accidentally saw something on the TV on his daily observation. A group of people gathering; the turquoise twin tailed girl and the yellow haired identical twins' singing, the brown haired woman and blue haired man joining them in harmony. The melody they brought struck him with a weird sensation he had never known before. Ever since that time he always bounded up to this room. He could only play in a rare day like today though, as in any usual day the white coated men would've heard him.

He tried some other musical instruments in there before, still he chose violin above all. The gentle sound it produces seemed to satisfy his ears better. Back then he could only make a deafening screech that he almost gave up, but fortunately the young void was a quickly learner. Now he could enjoy the melody he desired without breaking his ears.

The only thing waking ex-016 from his peaceful state was a loud screeching sound coming from the main gate. A day passed quickly without he even realized and the white coated men had returned! He quickly put back the violin and raced across the corridor, taking long steps at once. Taking his share of dinner, he skipped to his room before the white coated men noticed him and shut his door in a slam.

The young void quickly calmed himself down and took out his logbook and dictionary from under his bed. He continued his earlier entry while munching on his dinner.

_It's gonna be the best day __ever!_

…

…

_I__ played the violin too long today the white coated men almost caught me._

_I even skipped lunch! No wonder I'm starving now._

…

_Music is just amazing, isn't it? It's so soothing it makes me feel—_

Another emotion coming right up, he thought. The dictionary's pages flickered wildly on his finger.

_It's so soothing it makes me feel so __**serene**__._

_..._

_Serene. Serenity. The absence of mental stress; calm and unruffled._

_..._

_Well, what do we have here? My first positive emotion. I hope I could find more of them here._

…

_The white coated man is back. Whatever he wants, I couldn't wait for the next thirty days._

_Conclusion: Music makes __**me**__ feel calm and reach the state of __**serenity**__._

**ENTRY 3**** END **

* * *

><p>This one was kinda short, I guess...<p>

And there's a few cameos! I bet you guys know who.

Anyway, enjoy the story. And if you don't mind, review! XD


	4. Surprise

**ENTRY ****4**

_It is t__he same morning again. It is cloudy today, I guess._

_..._

_Boredom strikes me again. I __never thought it will be so cunning._

_I wonder if you, someone who may someday read this logbook of mine, will be strike with this certain emotion as well._

_There is nothing much I can told in this rotten building, so what do you expect? _

_..._

_The corridor is getting crowded. I can hear steps here and there._

_I bet the morning bell will ring soon._

_..._

_..._

As if answering the young void's call, the morning signal rang loudly as it usually did. Ex-016 dragged his feet out of his room, following the other residents of Yggdrasil to the open space they always attended in such a sunny morning day. He skipped onto a little hill and took a sit under a huge old ash tree that stood on top of it; the one that always gave him enough view and shade as he watched over the inhabitants of the twisted patched-together little world of theirs.

The cat-hybrid used to observe them all the time but as the newly found emotion, called 'boredom', invaded his little self he found the daily activity to be less pleasant than he used to think. So for the first time in his tiny existence in the big wide world he looked beyond the gate of Yggdrasil's territory. And there, he found something he always knew yet not known.

People out there seemed to have one united world, conversing with each other and were aware of their surrounding. They had various faces to be shown, various mimics, and various emotions. Their clothes were colorful, different from each other. And, were those the creatures called animals he saw? Oh, yes. The one with black fur acted just like the doggy boy back here. So it must be a dog, _real_ dog.

Ex-016 shifted his gaze back to the place behind the gate, the place he called home all this time. Everyone wore the same plain clothes with only different combination of numbers printed to distinguish them. He then looked down on his own clothes. A black ex-016 printed on the left chest area of the faded white t-shirt. So this was where his name was taken from, he never realized. Though, was ex-016 even his name? Was it _even _a name? What is the real meaning of name anyway? He just had to look up on the dictionary later.

He then thought of the reason why everyone in Yggdrasil couldn't act like how it was out there. As if the place was isolated from the world, broken down into even more tiny little pieces of worlds belonged to each of the residents. He didn't need to wonder for long to find the answer though. It was right in front his ever observant orbs. Two possibilities. Whether they wouldn't let their worlds being connected or people wouldn't accept the world they were in. Being out there wouldn't change a bit as well; they couldn't escape the illusional barrier. Just like how he had always been.

The second signal sounded and it was time for lunch. The mere thinking he had before wouldn't change his opinion on taking his share and eating it on the corner though. He once tried to connect his world and the white coated men refused, so why bother now?

As lunch finished, the whole occupants were taken back to the yard of wide green plain of grass. The yellow furred cat hybrid returned to his original place up the hill. He gazed upon the white coated men. He found them to be more like the outsiders, minus the colorful clothes. He even found that some of the white coated men, though only a few, were actually white coated women.

One of the white coated men, not women, was approaching him; the one with red eyes and silver hair tied on high ponytail. The young void recognized his smell, a strong smell of smoke, and concluded that he was the one that stood in front of his door everyday. It didn't seem to waver the void even slightly when he plopped down beside him, however his cat ears prickled in alarm as a hoarse voice somehow addressed itself to him.

"You seem to like music, I presume."

The white coated man said bluntly with a plain expression that kept all his emotions hidden. Ex-016 decided to ignore the man; maybe he talked to someone else or even wondered to himself.

"I'm talking to you, ex-016. Can't you talk? I've never heard you speak before."

Now he was sure that the white coated man was talking to him and he was struck with a strange sensation again; the one that made him felt like shocked with sudden a jolt of electricity, as if he was caught in a situation he couldn't anticipate before.

"I always hear you play the violin. It's…soothing. But yesterday would be the last time I heard you play. I will move to my sister's place tomorrow, to take care of her and her drinking problem."

He could see the white coated man observe his still form before sighing and stood, ruffling his silver hair in what seemed to be a displeased yet satisfied look.

"What am I doing, talking to an insane? The boy would probably be in his own world now. Whatever, take this. Maybe someday you'll run down on the same road as my sister and her _friends_..."

He said the last word with a mimic the void presumed as disgust. He then mentioned his finger to the metallic items he dropped for the void.

"I've washed it clean. It's a musical instrument, started with an H."

_Harmonica._

The young void thought loudly in his head as his eyes sparkled.

"Play it in front of me someday if we met in the future and it better be a good one. Until then."

The rest of the day seemed to past just like a second for the little void. He finished his dinner quickly and walked to his bedroom in a slow pace, unlike usual. His eyes stopped on a silver haired man with a white coat, whom he then blew the harmonica a note and left right after. The man seemed to be surprised at his sudden behavior before chuckling to himself.

Inside his room, the void was ready with his logbook, pen, and dictionary.

_..._

_..._

_Suddenly the white coated man talked to me today and gave me a harmonica!_

_It __**surprised **__me to no end!_

_..._

_Surprised. A surprise. To come upon something sudden or unexpected._

_..._

_It's a complicated emotion. I don't know if it is bad or not._

_..._

_The white coated man with silver hair is leaving; the one in front of my room._

_It'll be a little quiet__ from now on._

_Conclusion: When you find something unexpected, you'll probably be __**surprised**__._

**ENTRY 4**** END **

* * *

><p>Another cameo! I bet you guys know this one as well!<p>

Enjoy the story!


	5. Fear

**ENTRY ****5**

_It is very qui__et this morning. Even too quiet._

…_._

_Strange. I don't even hear any footsteps outside._

_I know the silver haired white coated man must have left for today but I don't expect it to be this quiet._

_..._

Ex-016 put down his logbook on his bed, heading toward his door. He gave the handle a twist only to find that it was locked. His furry cat ears prickled a bit in surprise. Slowly he headed back to his bed and pick up his logbook once again in that day.

…_._

_Now this is getting weird. My door is somehow locked._

_W__hat are they up to now?_

_Whatever. The morning bell will ring soon anyway._

_..._

_..._

_Huh? It should've happened just a few seconds ago._

_Are everyone overslept? It never happened before._

_Well, e__xcept this is that time of the day— _

Suddenly, footsteps were heard from the supposedly empty corridor. The little void's ears stood erect, trying to identify the sounds. He recognized the footsteps in an instant and as he did, his whole body shivered and his face paled.

The footsteps belonged to two people. One was light and swift, moving in a steady staccato. The sound was quite familiar too; that one was no doubt belonged to one of the white coated women.

The other one was deep and slow, but somehow filled with a huge confidence. The footsteps didn't sound like any of the white coated men's, as none of them ever wore any boots. Then, only one possibility was left. And the thought gave the young void a goosebump.

_That man is here._

_..._

_I know it is him. It got to be him. It MUST be him._

_This sensation I always have __whenever he is here._

_This—_

The void hesitated. He couldn't make a proper grip on his pen. He was sweating so much that the palm of his hands felt slippery. His heartbeats slowed a bit eventually as he heard the boots' stepping sound stopped and turned to the other side of the corridor, away from his room. He took a deep breath before finally succeed on writing the word.

_This __**fear**__._

_..._

_Fear. To be afraid._ _A distressing emotion aroused by impending danger._

_..._

_This is probably the first emotion I ever have before I even re__alize it._

_I don't __want this emotion. I don't like it. Why must I have it?_

_..._

_The white coated woman's footsteps are getting near. That means today is my turn._

_That also means I have to end this entry here._

_I don't want to tint the pages in red._

_Conclusio__n: When you are faced by dangers you can't handle, you will be taken over by __**fear**__._

**ENTRY 3**** END **

The young void quickly hid his logbook and waited for the white coated woman to arrive at his door. A click was heard when she did, and the door swung open in a sickening creak. She motioned him to follow and he obeyed. He couldn't imagine on what would happen if he didn't. It would be worse than being locked in the white room for days he presumed.

The only sound heard on the empty corridors was the sound of their footsteps. By then, minutes felt like hours. Every step he took made the fear inside him swelled up little by little and the young void had to fight back the urge to run and cowered on the nearest corner. The long corridor came to a dead end eventually and there stood a door pretty much similar to any other doors on the building.

Ex-016 waited for the white coated woman to open the door, biting on his lower lip to calm his once again shivering body down. She finally motioned him to enter, closing the door as he was inside, leaving him to stare eye on eye with the man he feared the second most.

"And how you might be, Nidhogg?"

Odin. One of the Elders. The messenger and right hand of Father Oranos, the owner of Yggdrasil. He nodded slowly, indicating that he was fine. The bearded man looked satisfied as he smiled in pride and tossed the young void a metallic item.

The item was about the same size as the harmonica he got from the silver haired white coated man but the smell was different; it smelled of gunpowder. Odin also handed him a paper with a picture of a man with it.

"You may take Garm with you to track him down and to clean things up."

The young void shifted his gaze from the picture. He found the doggy boy cowered on the farthest corner.

"Now go out from under the great tree's root and flapped your wings. And don't forget to greet the man properly."

Ex-016 nodded in response and took the doggy boy with him out of the room. He took his mask, a white mask with a laughing face on it, from the white coated woman that waited outside the door. The mask blended with his flesh as he put it on, his normally emotionless face was replaced by a huge grin.

Today, something red would be shed.

* * *

><p>Now this one was written in a different format somehow.<p>

It is because ZILCH a.k.a Ex-016 finished his entry early when he usually finished it before he went to sleep at night.

Well, lookie here. The place didn't seem to be a normal mental installation. Curious? Everything will be discovered when the time comes.

In the end, do enjoy the story. And review if you don't mind! XD


	6. Annoyance

For a child of his age, ex-016 was undoubtedly the one most familiar with the metallic toy. It was simple; he would answer, just like a hand-size fireworks starter. Aim it on the target, pull on the trigger, and then a red fireworks will appear. Once you have finished with it, call on the doggy boy to eat up the remnant. Yes, very simple indeed.

Ex-016 put a magnificent display of red fireworks last night. He was on the way back now, along with the doggy boy who dragged his limbs lazily on all four. They passed the front gate of their humble home of Yggdrasil. The sun didn't seem to greet them warmly that morning as it stayed hidden behind the thick black clouds, rain pouring down on them like waterfall. Ex-016 didn't mind the rain though as it washed out the red stench on his body along with its sickening smell.

They reached a big white building that stood proudly in the middle of the green fields. The doggy boy barked and rushed quickly to the building but the other void decided otherwise. He pulled the chain on his hand, the one that connected to doggy boy's collar, roughly until the other boy fell to the slippery ground. The said boy quickly scrambled back on all four and obediently followed his current caretaker's steps. Ex-016 glanced at the doggy boy for second before continued on his way, all the way to the farthest end of the area where a little warehouse stood. He opened the double paneled door and stepped inside, not even bothering to switch on the light; darkness was a lot more friendly in his opinion.

On the deepest part of the building, hidden below a stack of wooden boxes, was a door leading underground. Ex-016 proceeded on his way down the dark staircase with doggy boy followed behind him. On the end of the staircase was a wide open space, lighten by chandeliers on every a few meters of its wall. The doggy boy howled loudly, his voice echoed throughout the empty room.

Suddenly a little girl stepped out from the darkness. The girl was a good few years younger than ex-016, the right half of her face was burnt badly leaving the flesh appeared like that of a corpse. The doggy boy quickly rushed to her, his eyes glowing in excitement. He lapped on his master long robe; the said girl patted him in return.

Ex-016 observed the situation for a while before taking his first step out. The girl eyed him and decided to start a bit of conversation.

"Thank you for taking a good care of Garm. The boy seems to be excited."

The little void nodded in approval and continued on his way but the little girl wasn't finished yet, much to his displeasure. He wanted to return to his room quickly and have a good night sleep he missed last night.

"Tell me, sir Nidhogg. Is that jaws of your could only utter a roar? Or could you speak with it as the like of humans being?"

Ex-016 glanced one more time to the girl before turning and proceeded to climb on the stairs led to the surface. He could hear the girl muttered softly.

"I guess that means a lot than just an answer."

**ENTRY ****6**

_Good thing I can return to write without having to tint the pages red._

_The rain is hard today and it washed __all the red away._

_..._

_I return the doggy boy back to Hel today. _

_I haven't met her for quite a long time but she seems well. She even has courage to insult me now, that girl has grown._

_..._

_It's still a few hours left until the morning bell rings. I better catch on my sleep._

_..._

With that the cat-hybrid void put down his logbook and slept. He fell to the dreamless state quite fast due to his exhausted body. Hours passed and the morning bell rang, yet the young void didn't give any sign of waking up anytime soon. The white coated woman on his door peeked inside only to find the boy snoring softly on his worn out bed. She sighed and closed the door. She might just wake him up at lunch time.

The lunch signal rang loudly making the little void jumped from his bed in surprise. He had overslept! He hastily marched to the dining room and took his share. He then returned to his daily activity of watching the other resident from afar. The whole things looked the same as usual that the event of last night felt just like a hazy dream.

Ex-016 switched his gaze to the window beside him and saw that the rain hadn't stopped yet, he frowned. He had to spend the rest of his day in the playing room then; something he wanted to do the least most.

Lunch time passed and the void followed the group as they walked to the 'deepest hell of Tartarus'. As he arrived he took his usual equipments to the farthest corner as he had always done. He added crayons to his inventory for today though; he wanted to draw the red fireworks he saw last night. With all set, ex-016 started to scribble on the blank white paper. Little that he knew, a boy was staring at him with obvious awe.

"Wow, that's cool!"

Brown orbs turned in an instant to the source of the voice. The hyperactive boy! Ex-016 quickly tore on the paper he was drawing on, his eyes searched frantically around for the flower boy but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Aww, but that was good. Why did you ruin it?"

There was time when the hyperactive boy was not insane; it was when he was normal. That rare situation happened today and the boy had chosen him over anyone else here to talk to, just his luck. Ex-016 felt a sensation he had back when Hel insulted him. This must be a new emotion and he would look at it later in the dictionary. Right now he had to get rid of this boy.

His mind suddenly clicked as an idea found its way to his brain. He drew a picture of flowers on the papers he brought and scattered them around the hyperactive boy. The boy reacted to them, just as he thought, and started to stomp on them with an insane smile. Ex-016 was ready to continue his drawing when suddenly the other boy started to stare at him again; the papers from before were like a mere dust by now. The tingling sensation returned and he groaned.

He turned to the window and catch on a sight of a boy with dark hair outside. Why of course, the patrolling boy was the one who could handle the hyperactive one the most. He nudged the hyperactive boy and pointed outside the window.

"Huh, what? Oh, Jormungandr! Bye Nidhogg, I'll play with you later."

The hyperactive boy left by that, approaching his favorite person outside, clearly not disturbed by the hard rain. Ex-016 looked at the two boys laughing at each other for a while before resuming his work. A little part of him longed for a company but he brushed it off. He was destined to be alone he believed. Nobody could or wanted understand him; his world was as secluded as everyone here.

The rest of the day passed like any other days and at night the little void continued his entry.

_..._

_The hyperactive boy is being normal today and that's not a good thing__. _

_I can get rid of him though. _

_But truly he's so loud he—_

There it was. The void was already skimming through the pages of his dictionary.

_But truly he's so loud he __**annoyed**__ me._

_..._

_Annoyed__. Annoyance. To be bothered in an unpleasant way._

_..._

_I believe it'll lead into another emotion if endured for long.__ Good thing I didn't._

_..._

_There's a white coated woman in front of my door now. She is the one to substitute the silver haired white coated man, I guess. She seems to be less suspicious but I mustn't let me guard down. This entry will end here then._

_Conclusion: When you were bothered by something unpleasant, you'll be **annoyed**._

**ENTRY 6 END **

* * *

><p>Back to the plain o' days but with different format. *laughs*<p>

This chapter is more like a transition between the last chapter and the upcoming ones, just to release the tension.

Enjoy! and review if you don't mind! XDD


	7. Excitement

A small silhouette of a lone self shifted in the dark room. Without a voice, it sat up from its previous position on the bed, brown orbs flickering in the pitch black surrounding. It bent down to reach under the bed, pulling out a certain book with a green cover afterward.

**ENTRY ****7**

_A nice morning. Quiet, yet not too quiet._

_Why doesn't every morning start like this?_

…_._

_Oh, there's a screeching sound of machine outside!_

_But it doesn't sound exactly the same like the usual one I heard. It sounds bigger._

_I wonder what happen. _

_..._

_I can hear the white coated woman's footstep approaching._

_Time to stop writing. The morning bell will ring soon._

_..._

_..._

The morning signal rang and the young void marched outside his room with a steady pace. He followed the rest of Yggdrasil's residents to the yard, wincing a bit as the morning sun shone brightly on his face. He rubbed his eyes to lesser the painful blaze and sat on his usual spot up on the hill.

Ex-016 observed his surrounding as usual, yawning a bit as boredom struck yet again. He truly needed to find another emotion to counter this one, he thought. This emotion was as deadly as cobra's venom, killing one in mere minutes.

He let his eyes wonder beyond the gate, attempting to find something of a cure. He frowned as the town was barely awake. Sighing, he slowly switched his gaze back to the big white building, only to find it stuck in a certain place near the gate.

The cat hybrid blinked before the scene. A white coated man spoke to a fat kind-looking man. Behind the man was a machine, similar to that of the white coated men's four-wheeled vehicle, but bigger. A picture of what appear to be a white and black animal was printed on the vehicle; the one the young void believed as 'cow'.

He pondered as the two men chattered; scanning through the mimics on their faces, concluding on whatever they were arguing about had finally reached a proper deal as they shook hands.

He musingly observed their actions, eyes locked. He watched closely as the fat man entered his vehicle; the machine roared as it came to life. It went pass Yggdrasil's front gate, settling on the green grass of the field. He also noted that none of the other inhabitants noticed its presence, as none wavered from their activities in their own little world.

Ex-016 observed the whole situation with much glee. He mentally noted that 'something new' was indeed a great counter-attack for the emotion 'boredom'. A small sensation swelled up inside him; a new emotion he believed to positive this time. He willingly returned to the white building in lunch time with rare swift steps, pretty much absorbed in the sensation within him.

He finished his lunch quickly and returned to the grassy plain, stopping only when the white coated woman led him to a certain part of the wide open space. He saw that all of the young occupants were gathered there and were put on a long line. He tip-toed to see what waited for him in the end of the queue, only to spot a certain vehicle he saw in the morning time.

Ex-016 blinked. What might the white coated men want him to do now? As he helplessly searched his mind for an answer, the queue moved in a steady pace. In less than a few minutes, the little void reached the front row and was met by the man from before. He turned his gaze upward and quickly scratched his previous statement; this man is not fat, he is humongous!

"Hey there, lil' fella! Here yer bottle of fresh milk."

The void took the bottle of white liquid on his little hands, moving away from the crowd before plopping down on grass to observe the object closely. He opened the seal and sniffed on the opening. Hesitating, he finally connected the bottle with his mouth and let the white liquid slid down his throat. He jerked away in an instant as the sensation from before returned. He wasn't familiar with it at all but he had to deal with anyway, so he resumed on drinking the whole bottle. He didn't realize though, that the humongous man was watching him with a huge smile plastered on his face.

"Like the treat, kiddo? You look in bliss~"

Ex-016 snapped his eyes opened in slight surprise and proceeded to answer the man with a nod. The man ruffled his hair and tossed another bottle to him, which he caught with quite difficulty.

"Here's another. That one's my treat."

He nodded one more time as the man left to return to his milk truck. As he finished the first bottle he quickly chugged on the next one. He knew that he couldn't wait for the man's return in the future to give him the nice cold treat.

Night came by fast and dinner seemed to pass even faster for the young void. He retreated to his room quite early that day, as he reached for his logbook to continue his entry.

_..._

_..._

_Such a great day! You can't believe what I found!_

_There was that white liquid called milk._

_It's so tasty it made me feel all—_

There was it. The new emotion. He turned the pages on his dictionary swiftly.

_It's so tasty it __made me feel all __**excited **__somehow._

_..._

_Excited. Excitement. The feeling of lively and cheerful joy._

_..._

_It is a nice emotion. But it will somehow lead to something bad if endured for long._

_It makes me forget about everything else around me._

_..._

_The white coated woman seems to be suspicious for my early return. __She will probably open the door to check on me. Then it is time to end the entry._

_Conclusion: When you find something you like, you'll probably be __**excited **__to have it._

**ENTRY 7 ****END **

Ex-016 almost threw the logbook when his door swung instantly. The white coated woman was at the door, motioning him to follow her. He complied, after silently hode his logbook under his bed, and walked quietly behind her. His whole body suddenly shivered as the white coated woman uttered something at him, half deciding to return to his room immediately. Though he knew there was nothing he could do to resist.

"Lord Odin is waiting for you in his room."

He learned one more thing by then: excitement is a nice thing, but it never last long.

* * *

><p>Long time no see, everyone. I've just fell to the deepest hell and arrived back to earth. *thumbs up*<p>

Well, well~ The old man Odin is back. The little void just couldn't have his rest, couldn't he?

Anyway, enjoy the chapter! and review if you don't mind! XDD


	8. Helplessness

**ENTRY 8**

_Cold._

_This morning is cold._

…_._

_Strange. The sun shines brightly today. It even changes the color of my curtain!_

_But why is it cold?_

_It must be because the rain last night; the cold still stay._

_..._

_I made another firework yesterday. The rain was hard but it was still perfect!_

_But then I realized that I never found excitement by doing it, eventhough how great the fireworks were._

…_._

_It is getting colder. My head is hurt as well._

_Is there something wrong with me today?_

_What is—_

The pen left his grasp and ex-016 fell to the cold bed. He panted slightly. The room stared back at him in silent, as if watching his misery with an ignorant smile. His whole body shivered from the non-existent cold.

Somehow he felt like his weight multiplied, like a big invisible boulder had been put on top of him. Then he shivered again, this time in fear. He was afraid. Afraid of the unknown situation that struck him; he whimpered.

He could hear everything; the morning bell, the footsteps, the chatters and mumbles. But he couldn't do anything about it. He was stuck in his own bizarre thought. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours, and eventually everything reached a point where he couldn't feel the time even moving at all.

Ex-016 closed his eyes, trying his best to ignore the throbbing sensation on his head. A slight pang of emotion passed by him; was it pleasant? Or was it not? Everything was far beyond his recognition. The steady tick-tacking finally came into a halt, and for once, the young void found the most soothing place he ever been; the endless pit of blackness.

Death; was that it? The numbness was starting to awake an unpleasant sensation within him. He had read about the term. He had thought about experiencing it someday, someday that he eventually hoped not today. What was that emotion stirred inside him? Oh yes;_fear_.

Why would he be afraid of death? Was it dangerous? From what he had read it was nothing like that. The end of life; was it truly hard to accept? For one like him that didn't even have one? Yes. He didn't know what push him into that decision; he chose to be ignorant of it. For now he would accept the fear and ran, ran from the peaceful and soothing darkness.

How long had the time passed? That was the first thought that struck him as he wearily opened his eyes. The world swirled into place in the next second, and voice returned right after. And then pain. Or so he concluded about the throbbing sensation on his head. His whole body still felt numb though. He felt a gentle breeze on his left side, and turned his head weakly to that direction. Someone had left his window opened. And that someone, or _something_, was perching on the window, blocking the light from entering the room.

Ex-016 narrowed his eyes, trying to take a better look at the figure. He could only saw a silhouette, of a human-like figure around his size with a pair of huge wings on its back. And somehow he felt it grinned at him, with what he known as a Cheshire smile.

"G'morning, lil' one~ Wait, we're at the same age, huh? _My__ dear __brother?_"

A lump found its way up the void's throat, and he found it hard to swallow. This figure, merely a few meters from him, was the one he had always sought.

Were they alike? Where had he been? Had he saw the red fireworks, just like him? How had his _existence_ been? Thousand of thoughts raced through his head, pushing the throbbing pain away to his subconscious. He could reach him now; simply by stretching his arms. But he didn't.

Ex-016 whimpered; his body wouldn't move. His previous surprise turned into annoyance, and annoyance turned into something else as he heard the figure laughed at his struggle.

"Pathetic, aren't you? Couldn't even reach something that a thin paper away from you?"

The figure slipped down the windowsill, walking toward the bed, and let his face hovered above his brother's slightly. The young void could see his blood red eyes now; it was like a wild fire flickered on the dark night. He bit his lip; unable to move at all while everything was right within his reach. The tingling sensation grew stronger as he saw his brother walked away, turning to the open window once again with a call from another stranger.

"Stay here. Well, I dunno, maybe I'll come to fetch you one day? Till then, _little __brother__…_"

The figure disappeared. It simply disappeared with a gust of wind, over and beyond the window; beyond everything he could ever reach. And he screamed. He didn't remember ever done such thing before, but he did it still. He didn't care if anyone had heard him, or if he didn't even utter a sound at all; he just needed to, for a reason he didn't know. Then, the blackness returned.

It was like a déjà vu; he opened his eyes and quickly sat up, turning his face to his left. The window greeted him, with a hollow stare mimicking his own. He gritted his teeth, clawing on the white sheet. He stayed like that for minutes, mumbling inaudible voice while hugging his knees. He raised his face eventually, hands reaching for the logbook rested under his bed. Had someone put it there after his collapse? He didn't care and started writing.

…_._

…_._

_He was there, my big brother who gave me this book._

_But he left._

_I feel—_

He stopped; so as the flickering pages of the dictionary on his hand.

_I feel **helpless**. He was right there but I could not do a thing._

…_._

_Helpless. Helplessness. The inability to help oneself; powerless or incompetent. _

…_._

_This emotion is hard to avoid, and somehow will lead into something far more dangerous. I must learn how to encounter it._

…_._

_I can hear the footsteps; it must be the white-coated woman. Maybe she heard my voice? Still, I must stop the entry now. _

_Conclusion: When you are there but cannot do a thing, you'll feel **helpless**. _

**ENTRY 8 END **

* * *

><p>Okay, feels like <em>ages<em> since I updated this.

Still, enjoy the story! XD**  
><strong>


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